Woven Threads - Handcrafted Ceremonies. Wedding and Funeral Celebrant and Officiant serving Guelph, Toronto and area - Blog

What is a Child Welcoming Ceremony?

Thu, 09 Jul 2026 17:36:32 GMT

Photo by Jer Harman

A child welcoming ceremony is a beautiful opportunity to bring your community of loved ones around you to celebrate and support you as you welcome a new child into the family. It’s a moment to pause amid the busy activity of parenting and birth or adoption to mark this important milestone of expanding your family.

Why have a child welcoming ceremony?
Having children, or adding to your family is a beautiful, complex, at times difficult adventure.

And you don’t make that journey on your own–you’re supported by friends, chosen family, immediate and extended family. A ceremony can be an opportunity to gather with those close loved ones to celebrate! It can be a moment to ask for your loved ones continued support and affirm their role as the village who you want to help raise this child. If you follow a spiritual tradition, it can be an opportunity to state your intentions to raise the child within that tradition. For example, if you’re a pagan, maybe one aspect of the ceremony is to ask for the blessing of the child by the elements of earth, air, fire and water.

When do you host a ceremony like this?

It can be done a few months after the child is born, perhaps at the end of the “fourth trimester” at 3 months of age. It can be done a bit later, at 6 months old. Or perhaps you combine it with the child’s 1 year birthday celebration. It’s up to you to decide what feels right, and what feels manageable. I worked with one family who felt like they missed out on having a ceremony like this, so they did one when the child was 2 years old. Perhaps you align more with creating ceremony ahead of the birth or adoption, so you have the ceremony while pregnant or adopt-ready, perhaps combining the ceremony with a baby shower, kind of like how a wedding has a ceremony component and also a celebration/party component.

Who do you invite?

You have a choice to make the gathering a small intimate one, maybe just ten people. It could be only immediate family. You might feel more comfortable with a group of close friends and not involve family. Or maybe you want this to be an opportunity for community to gather, and you want a larger group of 30 plus people. Some folks choose to do same-gender groups for these types of ceremonies–like a mother blessing where only women and non-binary folks are invited. Again, go with the choice that works for you and your partner(s).

What does a child welcoming ceremony look like?
The structure and outline of a ceremony of this type follows from your intention or hope for the ceremony and who is part of it. No two ceremonies I help people with are exactly the same. Say, for example, your first child was a difficult birth, and in preparation for your second birth, you want an added feeling of support from the wise women in your life who know you well and love you. In that case you might decide to focus on rituals that nurture and nourish you like having people collaboratively make a flower crown or support necklace for you while they share with you the strengths they see in you as a person and parent. Or maybe there will be a bunch of children under 6 years old at the ceremony, so you need to make sure it is a structure that engages them with a few different interactive elements like reading a children’s story or singing a song. Or perhaps you know you want the ceremony outside, like a ceremony I did standing in a river with the parents and older sibling.

Here are some possible elements to a Child Welcoming Ceremony:

Welcome and Introduction: welcome everyone to the gathering, talk about what the intention or purpose of the ceremony is for you
Grounding: ground and centre in to the ceremony moment, perhaps by pausing to notice the nature sights and sounds around you, having a grounding breath, singing together an opening song, reflecting on the family memories already made at the home we’re gathered at.
Gratitude for Ancestors: tell stories of the families who the child is descended from–say the names of important ancestors, and where they are from.
Grandparents: ask for a pledge of support from grandparents, or invite grandparents to speak for a moment about their hopes and intentions for their grandchild
Guideparents: honour 1 or 2 people with a special role of guideparent–a hoped for close adult in the child’s like. Perhaps invite that person or people to speak about how they intend to be there for the child
Community Pledge: reflect back to your loved ones how much they mean to you, and how you hope they can be part of your child’s life. Perhaps have them reply to a pledge question, affirming their intentions to be there for you and your family.
Parent’s Pledge: Parent(s) can speak about their hopes and intentions for having a child, perhaps tell stories about the pregnancy, birth, or adoption process, or express their love for the community gathered for the ceremony.
Stories of the Child: tell some stories about the child’s developing personality, likes and dislikes
The Child’s name: tell the story of the child’s name and why it was chosen or what it means.
Songs: sing or listen to a song. Shakers or dance moves encouraged!
Read a Children’s book: read a children’s story that affirms your view of family and community
Rituals of community connection. Rituals to enact the intentions for the ceremony like everyone signing a children’s book, guests presenting chosen fabric for a community quilt that’s being made, passing around an object like a hand knit blanket or stuffy for loved ones to hold and bless.

Guelph Junction Community Labyrinth

Wed, 22 Jan 2025 15:32:28 GMT

What is the Guelph Junction Community Labyrinth?
The Guelph Junction Community Labyrinth is a free winter snow local labyrinth located in Howitt Park beside Silver Creek for anyone to use for their own reflection and contemplation, for their joy and fun. Have a slow meditative walk to the centre and back out again, or playfully skip to the centre, or hop sideways from path to path until you reach the middle. There is no wrong or right way to use it!

A labyrinth is not a maze. The labyrinth is not meant to confuse you--it has no wrong turns, no dead ends. It is one continuous path that you walk in to the centre and back out again.

Who made this?
My name is Chris (they/them) and I am a local Ceremony Guide who has a passion for ritual and a fascination with spiraling shapes. I live in the Junction neighbourhood, walk in Howitt Park often, and love this as a space to clear my mind and connect to nature.

Walking Meditation
We live in a time that has plenty of chaos and sorrow--living under white supremacy, racial capitalism, and climate change can be difficult! We need practices that help us ground and come back into our centre so that we can make decisions and take action to co-create a community and world from a place of justice and love.

Wondrous Play
Labyrinths can be playful! Playing outside, taking in the wonder and beauty of the plants, the sky, and the creek opens up a space of joy and awe that is soothing and healing.

Add to the Labyrinth
Feel free to add to the labyrinth if you feel inspired! Decorate the path, add a geocache to the middle, leave painted rocks of inspiration in the centre--whatever you’re drawn to! I request that we only place materials that will naturally biodegrade or are stable enough that they won’t harm local plants or wildlife. Messages of inclusion, community and love on your items are welcome--any racist, homophobic, transphobic or otherwise oppressive viewpoints will be removed.

The Classical Labyrinth Shape
This labyrinth shape is called a Classical Labyrinth, or Cretan labyrinth. I’ve heard labyrinths described as “a human archetype” to reference how common various versions of labyrinths are across cultures and across time, found as early as 4000 years ago in Europe, North Africa, and India, among many other places. Their spiritual meaning and use is as varied as the peoples and traditions from which they grow.

Honour Whose Land You Are On
If you enjoy the peace of this land, consider donating to local Indigenous organizations as a way to honour the original stewards, and as a way to say thank you to the people whose land you’re on.

You are Not Alone
As many of us walk the labyrinth, we strengthen the path. Though we may walk one at a time, unseen by others, we see the other footsteps before us and know we are not alone.

Get in Touch
Tag your use of the labyrinth with #JunctionLabyrinth. If you want to get in touch with me, email christine@woven-threads.ca

More on the blog:

Community Ritual Creation under Capitalism and Colonialism

Celebrating 9 years as a Celebrant

Telling your Love Story in your wedding

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 22:14:11 GMT

One of the unique features of the handcrafted wedding ceremonies that I co-create is the love story section of the ceremony. The love story is a few paragraphs about your relationship. Because I don’t believe in insert-name-here generic ceremonies. Your ceremony can tell your stories, reflect your personality and sense of humour, and focus on what is important to you.

That’s why I take the time to get to know the couples that I work with. I get you to write out a partnership reflection where you tell me some of your stories–like how you met, what you love and admire about each other, what joy and connection looks like.

Here’s an example of what a love story sounds like in a ceremony so you get a sense of what I mean. Names, pronouns, and details have been changed in order to protect privacy. Italian references have been preserved because her Nonna said so.

Love Story

Alex and Kayla boogied their way into each other’s hearts, having met at a funk night in Hamilton. Alex has her friend Aliza to thank for doing the heavy lifting of encouraging Alex to go dance with Kayla and her friends. Alex said she went to dance with Kayla with “the grace and class of a freshly born deer on ice.” Aliza also relayed Kayla’s interest in house plants so Alex could have some ins for their texting conversation the next day after she somehow miraculously got their number. The two of them hung out as friends for a few months and were delighted to discover how much fun they had together and watched this relationship blossom.

When I asked Kayla and Alex to tell me about their love, Kayla said it feels like home, feels like the safety and excitement of coming home to Alex at the end of the day. As they said, “love is partnership; working towards common goals, picking each other up when we’re down and celebrating the small things with each other.” It’s a listening ear to vent about a tough day. Love is the openness of a vulnerable conversation and learning how to care for each other and their relationship. Alex said she’s grateful that their partnership is also a meticulously planned calendar thanks to master organizer Kayla lending their skills to balance out an at-times forgetful Alex. Their partnership sounds like lots of laughter. Kayla said they’re grateful for how much of a goofball Alex is, and how her easy-going golden retriever energy makes them laugh every day.

The two of them share so much joy together! They love to head out on adventures, be it the quiet of a Sunday morning coffee date, checking out a local concert, or planning big trips they’ve been fortunate to do to like their trip to Iceland.

They enjoy being cozy at home tending their garden boxes or hosting friends, or quality time observing the antics of their cat Noor and dog Beau. Alex told me, "Noor may not approve of Beau as much as he approves of her but every day they work on their relationship and confront their issues to build a strong union based on love and healthy disdain." Alex, you can only do your best to model a healthy relationship to your children, what they do with it is up to them.

Kayla and Alex told me how they love to cook together and make family favourites or newly discovered recipes, and splurge occasionally on a fancy dinner out. As Alex told me, she’s grateful that Kayla opened her eyes to this culinary world. Kayla put it more directly when they told me that when they met Alex “her meal game was sad.” Evidenced by one of Alex’s university classics, her philly cheese steak sandwiches—which sounds fancier than it is. Picture Wonder bread, with margarine, Montreal steak spice, and if she was splurging, some cheese. Alex, that’s not food, why did you make your Italian ancestors cry like that? Thankfully there has been a beautiful evolution together, and Kayla and Alex have bountiful veggie gardens, and with Italian sausages curing in the basement, and the shelves stocked with family made tomato sauce and wine, Alex is well on his way to becoming the old Italian woman she dreams of being.

What is accessible pricing?

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 17:53:15 GMT

Every client I work with on a ceremony can take advantage of accessible pricing if my fees are a financial barrier.

What is accessible pricing?
Accessible pricing means that there is no one set price for a ceremony, and instead there is a range of fees, anywhere between 50% of my fee and 100% of my fee. So for a handcrafted wedding ceremony

that means clients can choose to pay anywhere between $375 +HST (50% off) and $750 +HST (100% of my fee). You decide where along the scale you’re comfortable paying and let me know the fee that works for you. No proof of income is needed, no questions are asked. And if 50% off is still out of reach, be in touch and let me know and we can work something out.

Why do I offer accessible pricing?

Offering sliding scale pricing recognizes that our economic system is racist and unjust, and as a result of systemic influences, each person holds different economic privileges. Systems of colonialism, racism and white supremacy, transphobia and other oppressive forces have real, material, and economic impacts on people.
A fee that is financially within reach for one person, might be vastly out of reach for another person—not out of any sort of personal financial failing, but because of larger forces outside of them.

I want everyone in my community to have access to the support of ceremony. Ceremony should not be a luxury.

Who is the sliding scale for?

If you are hiring me for a wedding, choosing 100% of my fees might be a good fit for you if you and your partner(s) are having loved ones contribute to the costs of your wedding, you are both employed full-time, if you have middle to high income, if you own your own home/condo, or if you have inherited intergenerational wealth. If you are hiring me for a funeral, choosing 100% of my fees might be a good fit for you if there are funds set aside in an estate for funeral planning, or if there is more than one person who is employed full time who is contributing to covering the costs of the memorial.

Choosing 50% of my fees might be a good fit for your wedding if you and your partner(s) are paying for the wedding with zero outside help from family, if one of you is unemployed or employed part-time, if you are low income, or if you are students. If you are hiring me for a funeral, choosing 50% of my fees might be a good fit if there is no money already set aside for funeral costs (in the case of an adult who has died), or if only one person is covering the cost of the funeral who is low income, or employed part-time.

Please feel welcome to reach out and ask me any questions you have about accessible pricing.

Celebrating nine years as a Celebrant!

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 19:20:59 GMT

This May marks nine years that I’ve been serving my community as a celebrant. Thank you to all of the people that I have worked with. Thank you for trusting me with your stories. For inviting me into your lives. For co-creating touching and meaningful ceremonies.

Some of the types of ceremonies I’ve helped co-create:

Mother Blessing
Adoption Ceremony
Child Welcoming Ceremony
Commitment Ceremony
Wedding
Vow Renewal
Relationship Transition
Uncoupling Ceremony
Solstice and Equinox Rituals
Graveside service
Celebration of Life

Some things I’ve learned doing ceremony:

I do this work because I long for spiritual belonging. The religion I grew up in traumatized me, and I’ve longed ever since to create a set of seasonal, personal, and community rituals and spiritual practices that feel like home.
Woven Threads is a spiritual practice, not just a business. I am called to this work, I am spiritually guided by this practice. Hustle culture and capitalism are bullshit. I am here to help us remember the rituals that are our birthright. I do this work to heal myself, each other, and the earth.
Running a business brings you face to face with yourself! I’ve had ample opportunity to face my own demons of imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear of failure, anxiety. It’s good, healing work to engage in!
Ceremony is about story, it’s about authoring the meaning of our lives. It’s about how we make meaning of the transitions, phases, significant events we move through. Ceremony can be a bridge from one identity to another.
Ceremony strengthens community. Often ceremony happens in community - we gather our nearest and dearest around us to affirm, witness, support and celebrate us. In this way, ceremony is a practice for strengthening community bonds, including the bonds we have with the earth, the elements.
Unseen forces are available to support our ceremony work. The ancestors, our spirit guides, the elemental spirits, Source, animals and plants are all participants in ceremony. I am slowly learning how to widen the circle of ceremony to work with these spirits and helpers.
Ritual still scares and intrigues me. Sometimes I struggle to create space in my personal life for my own ritual practices. And some of the time that resistance is based on fear–that I don’t know what I’m doing, that I’m going to get it wrong, that I’m gonna mess with the spirit world in an unskilled way. We’re not alone in relearning this path to ritual wholeness.

In many ways I still feel like a beginner when it comes to creating ceremony. I want to sink further into spiritual, earth-honouring ceremony styles where our spiritual guides feel present and guiding the ceremony, where rituals happen using the wisdom of the elements (earth, air, fire and water), of the ancestors, of our spiritual helpers and guides.

Community Ritual Creation Under Capitalism and Colonialism

Sun, 26 Mar 2023 14:55:35 GMT

How do we create respectful, nurturing, inclusive community rituals that celebrate the land and our relationship with it while living under capitalism and colonialism?

I was gifted from Spirit with the spore of an idea for a Spring Festival; a vision of an all-ages event that uses song, dance, story, and play to tell the stories of the land, express our gratitude and give honour for the natural systems we are in relationship with, and welcome the coming delights of the growing season.

As I began giving energy to the idea—talking about it with friends to let the mycelial network begin to form, showing Spirit I was taking action on the inspiration—I realized I was actually embarking on a much deeper journey both personally and with my community.

Confronting my Own Fears
Personally, I’ve had fear and hesitation around creating projects like a community ritual with other people. I’ve tended to do things on my own; out of fear. I’ve hosted a few small-scale Equinox and Solstice gatherings. I drew on teachings and examples from those around me when it came to the design of the structure of the event. And I created space within the events for participants to share and co-create. But I largely created and ran it solo. When I look back now on those events I smile to a younger, nervous, inexperienced me. I have compassion for the gap between the events I did create and the transformative group ritual experience I long to have. Yet I went in that direction of planning and hosting solo because that’s what felt most comfortable. I’m scared of the potential messiness of working with people—setting expectations, managing conflicts, potentially being disappointed by people, the potential challenge of being on different pages with the event, the challenge of committing time and energy to a project while we’re all trying to survive and create joy while living under capitalism.

I realized early on after receiving the inspiration for the Spring Festival that there was an invitation for me to grow and learn to collaborate again. To learn the joy and possibility of working in a group. To see that what we create together is far more than any of us could create on our own. I have a background in theatre as an actor. I remember the deep joy of co-creation, and the pride of giving energy and care to creating a finished piece of theatre.

And isn’t this invitation what relearning principles of community care is all about? Leaning into the potential messiness of being in relationship? Learning to establish connection and trust, to set clear expectations and boundaries, to learn the skills to manage conflict, to learn how to grieve when loss and disappointment happens, to learn how to repair ruptures of connection?

Inspired by my Ancestors
I draw inspiration from the festivals of my Irish and Greek ancestry. In modern times, Orthodox Greece has events like Apokries, the Greek carnival season; 10 weeks prior to Orthodox Easter of community festivals involving song, dance, food, and masquerading. I read a book about the role of Priestesses in religious cults in Ancient Greece called Portrait of a Priestess
by Joan Breton Connelly which outlines how each god and goddess has their own calendar of celebrations and holy days, resulting in a busy Ancient Greek community life of pilgrimages, festivals, and rites. I’m learning about the Celtic pre-Christian pagan calendar of holy days that align with solar and lunar events. And learning about their modern pagan reimagining of that calendar in the Wheel of the Year and the 8 holy days that include the solstices and equinoxes.

This Ritual Needs Many Stories
I feel nourished by my solo spiritual practice of being connected to the land, the changing seasons, spirit and my ancestors, yet I know there is more waiting for me in community ritual.

I don’t want however to work solo to create a Celtic Pagan celebration of spring. I don’t want it to be a celebration isolated to one group of people or set of practices. I want to celebrate this land where I am on the Grand River Watershed in what’s known in present day in colonial terms as Guelph, Ontario. I want a ritual space that is a meaningful interaction between many stories of this land and our relationship with it. Because to create a new song on this earth that prioritizes care and justice among many peoples (including animal, mineral, plant and ancestral), a song that counteracts the modern mythos of extraction, oppression and individualism, we need a polyphonic song. I would be reproducing patterns of harm if I celebrated this land, as a white settler, in a way that made invisible once again the indigenous peoples of this land, and the many other cultures and ethnicities who find ourselves here because of colonization, economic migration, or by other means.

River Walks and Conversations
So I started having conversations to get feedback on the Spring Festival idea; to seek collaborators. I witnessed the mycelial network grow outside of me, and began reaching out to friends who have passion and experience in ritual, nature connection, art, working with kiddos, who are parents. I was granted a small pot of money through the Guelph Neighbourhood Support Coalition’s “Setting the Table” Fund so that I could pay people for 1 hour consultations, where they share their time and expertise. I’ve walked in the forest and by the river, sat around a bonfire, or shared a tea with people to dream and learn.

I quickly realized the project needed more time. That five months wasn’t enough, so instead of a May 2023 timeline, I moved to a May 2024 timeline. And now, at this point, I don’t know what the timeline of the project is. It might not be a project at all anymore (for now at least). I think it’s become a longer, slower process of developing relationships and being in connection.

A Way Forward
I’ve been shown a possible way forward by Australian Aboriginal academic and carver Tyson Yunkaporta through his 2020 book Sand Talk: How Indigenous Thinking Can Save the World (Tyson has said he dislikes the subtitle which was created by his publishers). In the last chapter he outlines a process to share and produce knowledge, a sequence to follow to work with indigenous knowledge in sustainable ways. The sequence is distilled from hundreds of conversations between Yunkaporta who is from the Apalech Clan and Doris Shillingsworth a Mumuwari elder. The sequence is as follows:

1.Spirit/Respect: The values and protocols that guide introductions between people Setting rules and boundaries. Starting from a base of profound respect between people.
2.Heart/Connect: “Establishing strong relationships and routines of exchange that are equal for all involved. Your way of being is your way of relating because all things only exist in relationship to other things.”
3.Head/Reflect: “Thinking as part of the group and collectively establishing a shared body of knowledge to inform what you will do.”
4.Hands/Direct: “Acting on that shared knowledge in ways that are negotiated by all.”

Yunkaporta contrasts this sequence with how white colonizers often work with Australian Aboriginals—by imposing projects and programs that go array because they start with directing, instead of starting with relationship building.

Sand Talk, in combination with a recent river walk with a local artist, has shown me the need to slow down even further, and really listen to the broader invitation in the spore of the Spring Festival Idea.

Reciprocal, Respectful Relationships
If I long for meaningful community ritual that tells many stories, then it needs to be created by a group of people who hold many different stories. Not just me holding the vision, and inserting artists and ritualists into a structure of my design. And that means slowing down and making introductions (Respect), and establishing respectful, reciprocal relationships, with many people who are similar and dissimilar to me (Connect). So that then, together, we can create a vision for a community ritual (Reflect), and then play together to make that vision a reality (Direct).

And the creation process needs to recognize that we don’t all come to the table in the same way, with the same privileges and resources. As a white, able bodied, middle class, settler with reasonably steady income and secure housing, with no children or care-giving obligations, I hold a lot of privilege and have a lot of capacity. Not that my life is perfect or that I’m thriving (what kind of health and balance is possible in a toxic, unjust system like racialized capitalism?) yet it’s still totally possible for me to donate my time every month over the course of a year to organize and plan a one day Spring Festival. If I am asking Indigenous, POC artists and ritualists to join me in that co-creation, what might they need in order to have the capacity and resources to devote time and energy to such a project? How could we create a model, a process where people could get adequately paid for their time and experience? Where supports like child care and transportation could be included? What is needed to create an equal and reciprocal relationship? How do we create community seasonal ritual together in a nurturing, caring, respectful, and just way?

More conversations need to be had.

Want to Chat?
If you’re interested in chatting with me for up to an hour about this Spring Festival idea, or what the path to get there involves, please be in touch. Honorariums are available for your time, with a priority on Black, Indigenous, POC artists and ritualists.

I’ll check back in and write more as the fungal network spreads. Sign up for my newsletter to be sent further posts.

Rituals of Remembrance

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 20:07:14 GMT

Photo by Ema Suvajac

To support you as you grieve the death of a loved one, small rituals of remembrance can be a powerful way to remember and honour loved ones and tend to your grief. Rituals of remembrance are soothing, intentional actions you take on a regular basis to connect to their memory.

Let’s explore some examples of what rituals of remembrance could look like to help guide you to create your own. There are many options, and the rituals or actions you do will depend on how close you were to the person who died, what your relationship to them was, or could depend on the manner of their death.

Complicated Relationships
If you had a complicated relationship with a loved one who died–perhaps the relationship was a source of harm–then small actions to honour them may not be what you need, or may not be sufficient to heal that connection. You’re not alone in that struggle. The support of a therapist, grief counsellor or grief support group may be what you need. There are many free options available, including in-person or online supports.

Visiting their Grave
This is likely the most familiar ritual of remembrance. If your loved one’s final resting place is in a cemetery you can go and visit their grave. This might be something you do more frequently in the years following their death, or you do on significant dates like the anniversary of their death. You might plant flowers, leave wreaths, bring food offerings, leave small crafts like a painted rock, or pour out a sip of their favourite drink. In Jewish tradition loved ones place a rock on the tombstone every time someone visits. It’s also totally okay if visiting a grave site feels overwhelming or uncomfortable–there are many ways to grieve and connect.

Ash Scattering Site
If there are cremated remains that were scattered in a particular place perhaps your ritual of remembrance would be to return to that spot and spend some reflective time. You could bring a journal and write, leave an offering of some kind, pause and play a song they liked, read a letter you wrote to them, or read a poem that soothes you.

Anniversaries
Anniversaries and special occasions can be moments when the grief of losing a loved one is more intense and when you might want to time some of these actions. Be it the anniversary of their death, their birthday, or around holidays and special occasions. Reflect on the dates that would be important for you to mark, or where you might need added soothing.

Community Grieving Events
Local cemeteries or funeral homes in your area sometimes offer community services on days like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Remembrance Day and Christmas where you can gather with others who are also grieving a similar loss. It’s important to remember you’re not alone.

Roadside Memorials
If your loved one died as the result of a car, motorcycle, or bike accident you might be drawn to creating a small roadside memorial at the site of the accident. You could place a sign, flowers, items that remind you of that person, or spiritual or religious markers such as a cross for those of Christian heritage. A ghost bike is a bike that has been painted all white and installed at the spot where a cyclist died in an accident.

Donations in their Honour
You can remember and honour a loved one through donations. For example, if you had a family member who had a journey with cancer you might wish to make a donation to a cancer care center or a hospice or another organization that was an important support for you. Or maybe you wish to make an annual donation to an organization, cause or interest that was important to your loved one.

Food and Drink
Food and drink can be a really joyful way to engage in honouring loved ones. It might be making a favourite recipe at certain times of the year or, again, whenever you feel like connecting to them. Maybe you toast their favourite drink. Maybe at significant family gatherings you set a place at the table for recently departed loved ones. You could cook or bake recipes of theirs or dishes that were their favourite.

Jewelry and Clothing
Wearing jewelry or items of clothing once belonging to a loved one can be a way to remember someone. I wear a ring that once belonged to my grandmother on one side. I have some of my other grandmother's necklaces and pendants as well as an incense burner that was hers. Wearing or using those items is a way to bring them to mind and feel close to them. There are also many options for including cremated remains into pieces of jewelry.

Say it out Loud!
Who says that just because your loved ones are gone you can't keep having conversations with them? Perhaps you want to journal or write a letter as though you were speaking directly to them; saying some of the things that you want to say, expressing some of your grief. Or you could go for a walk to a relaxing place like a forest, or visit their grave and say whatever is on your mind and heart.

Shrines and Altars
An ancestor shrine or altar can be a place in your home where you place photographs or objects to honour your loved one. If you are part of a religious or cultural tradition that has a practice of creating shrines or altars, look to that tradition for guidance on how to set up a shrine. The shrine could be permanent, only set up for a while after their death, or set up temporarily at certain times of the year. You could light a candle and have a moment of silence, or light some incense, or read a poem or prayer as examples of how to meaningfully interact with the altar.

Hobbies and Passions
If there were activities or hobbies your loved one was passionate about, then engaging in those same activities could be a way to connect to their memory. Perhaps your loved one was passionate about gardening and you plant flowers or herbs that you know they would have loved and tending to those plants is a way to honour them. Perhaps there are certain hiking trails that they loved that you want to return to. If they had a favourite sports team perhaps as a family you do an annual trip to see one of those games in person. Friends of mine had a loved one who was a big golf fan and every year a group of friends do a memorial golf tournament in their honour.

Memorial Trees
Memorial trees planted in public parks, arboretums, botanical gardens or at your home are another beautiful way to honour a loved one. The tree can be a place that you visit, it can be a place that you rest and spend time with a book or a journal. Or perhaps there are small and environmentally friendly ornaments or items that you want to leave at the base of the tree or hang in the branches of the tree at significant points in the year.

Memorial Tattoos
To remind you how you always carry your loved one with you, you could have a memorial tattoo done. It could be a tattoo of a loved one's name, or their birth and death dates, or other symbols that connect you to them.

Storytelling
Consider times and places when you can tell stories of your loved one as part of remembering them. When you gather with friends and family, or maybe at occasions like family reunions, you set aside a time to have a toast to their honour and spend some time sharing your favourite memories of them.

Ancestral Traditions
You might also want to investigate traditions of your ancestors, your culture, or your spiritual path to see what existing rituals of remembrance might be embedded in those practices. For example in the pagan Celtic spirituality that is part of my heritage, Samhain, on October 31, is often a time to focus on our relationship with our ancestors.

Child Friendly Rituals
Many of these rituals of remembrance options can be made accessible to children. Perhaps visiting a grave involves making a small craft like a painted stone that gets left at the grave site, or a small ornament is hung in a memorial tree. Or engage children in making a favourite cookie recipe of your nana’s.

Create your own Traditions
Let these ideas spark your own imagination and creativity. Sit with what you feel called to, what you feel moved to do, what feels significant and meaningful and important to you. Start a conversation with your loved ones and create something together.

Be kind to yourself in the process
Remember to meet yourself where you're at and give yourself what you need. It's okay if you don't want to do any of these rituals of remembrance. And it’s enough if you do one small practice. Consider which options offer you soothing, and avoid options you think you “should” do that hold a burdensome feeling of obligation, or options which feel overwhelming.

Let's make this a conversation
Let me know in the comments what you already do to remember loved ones who have died. Perhaps what you do can inspire someone else to be able to create something that's meaningful for them.

Lavender, a friend in ritual

Fri, 23 Jul 2021 17:08:00 GMT

Lavender has been a good friend of mine for a long time. I harvested this adorable little bunch from the gardens in my front yard where it grows.

Lavender brings me soothing and grounding. They teach me to soften and slow down. Every week in my ritual bath lavender essential oil and Epsom salts make up the magic that clears my energy field and helps me release.

As one of the plants which guide my business and are part of my plant bouquet logo, lavender reminds me

to move slowly and to reject the hustle culture that's common in entrepreneurship.

I also often use lavender as an offering, setting it gently down on the ground or in the water with a prayer. I do this as a gesture of gratitude at forests and rivers I know, and also when I am going to a new land or body of water I don't know and wish to introduce myself. Lavender in those moments teaches me humility as I relate to the elements, ancestors and spirits of a place.

When you bring plants you already have a relationship with into ritual, you are bringing your network of allies and friends with you into ritual work. Ensure the plants you work with are sustainably and ethically grown, harvested and acquired, and preferably from an ecosystem you have lived in.

So which plants are you already friends with? How do they support your ritual work? How do you in turn nurture the relationship and tend to what the plant needs and requests of you?

This Summer Solstice, let's embrace delight!

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 20:36:12 GMT

Happy Summer Solstice!

Sing praises to the lifegiver, the Sun! I am but a speck on the surface of this vast planet and still, 15min of direct midday sun can still burn my skin. Such power! Let it help us get off fossil fuels!

This is our longest day of sunlight of the year. And this solstice, I’m reflecting on delight and the healing power of pleasure.

I come alive in the sunshine. Where winter is my new moon of the year, my season of rest, inward reflection and dreaming, summer is the full moon of the year, my season to connect with others and join sweaty queer dance parties and summer community festivals (longing, longing for those spaces once again).
And in the growing cycle of the year, winter is the fertile fallow season, spring is for seeding and beginning, summer is the time for blossoming and fruiting, and autumn is a celebration of the harvest.
So I invite you to join me in reflecting on what is fruiting in your life. What is juicy, sweet and pleasurable in your life? When do you experience joy, ease and delight? Amid the challenge, grief and uncertainty of pandemic life, pleasure heals; moments of joy help us keep going. Like my kitten, Moon, who is an insistent cuddler and thus my constant teacher in returning to the moment, and cuddling before any other activity!
Your summer solstice celebrations and ritual practice can be finding a way to enjoy, to indulge. Set an intention, say a prayer, that your time of delight, creation or connection may be an offering, a ritual act of thanks; adding joy to the collective energy. It could be a living room dance party, time to connect with human or animal companion loved ones, eating strawberries, going for a swim, sex and intimacy, time for art or creating, a slow forest walk, a hammock nap.

May your play and joy restore and soothe you. And may we all feel the subtle ripple of that inner smile. Blessings to you and yours.

You don't need to rush having a funeral

Wed, 03 Feb 2021 18:47:35 GMT

Photo from PxHere, Creative Commons licence

Funerals and Celebrations of Life don’t necessarily need to happen within the week or two following the death of a loved one.

It has become a default or convention to have those short timelines on funerals. And It’s okay to want a public service to happen soon.

But I want you to know it’s not the only option.

Back when burial was the norm, and before embalming was widespread, in order to have a service with your loved one’s body present a funeral needed to happen quickly.And even with embalming as a common practice now, again, if you want your loved one’s body present for a service, or want a service to happen at the side of the grave, then there’s a pressure to hold public ceremonies quickly.

But I’ve heard too many stories of families who felt rushed to make all sorts of funeral arrangements and decisions when they’re still in the very initial stages of shock and grief. Only to later feel bitter about how events unfolded.

It’s okay to want a public service to happen soon. But I want you to know it’s not the only option.

I’ve helped families have private and small ceremonies within the couple of weeks after their loved one’s passing, and then wait a month or two before they feel ready to host a public funeral. Sometimes public memorials happen 6 months or a year after a loved one’s death. I’ve also supported folks hosting memorials to mark the 20th anniversary of a loved one’s passing. If someone has chosen an ash scattering to happen at a particular place--say a favourite camping spot or their cottage--then it might be necessary or desired to wait until a particular season for that to happen. And in the midst of a pandemic, waiting a longer time before we’re able to gather in person might be our only option.

A funeral ceremony is there to tend to our grief, to support one another in community. So choose a timeline and options that enable that to happen, rather than adding stress on top of raw grief.

If you want to chat about your options for ceremony, I offer a free 30 minute chat to get us started. You don’t need to walk through this alone. I’d be honoured to be a support.